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Legendary; A dark TeemoXTristana story
Topic Started: Jul 11 2016, 03:39 AM (318 Views)
JayHog1992
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Something I wrote when I was bored. Wanted to bring the darker side of the writer in me for this. Read at your own discrection.

PS: The story was just for fun, do not interpret the end of the story seriously.


Legendary (A dark TeemoXTristana story)


The match was being set up, I waited for the moment I was deployed into the battlefield as I analyzed the team compositions. I was going to be up against an Aatrox in the top lane. According to rumours and such, he's been down in the low these days, but the summoner who controls him is quite skilled with him, so I have to be on my toes. Mid lane was the typical Xerath versus Azir, those two will never understand that their quarrel means nothing to those who control us. Doesn't matter how much power anyone ever has, in the Rift, we're just puppets! Evelynn was our jungler while the enemy's jungler was... Khartus? Match hasn't even started and I could hear the arguing of the enemy team about it... It always go like that... Bot lane was a Jinx with Thresh versus Tristana and Lulu... Both girls were wearing their dragon trainer skins... They might be duoing together, I believe... Tristana... She's always been getting a good treatment from the summoners... While I keep getting dragged down over and over again... The line that I had to cross by them was this outfit I had to wear... I long burned my trademark scout hat... Because they ordered me to... Otherwise they'd...

"Welcome to Summoner's Rift!"

That woman's voice never dies as she keeps watching over us and help them judge our every move... It's lucky that I can still hear her these days...

"Hey! Don't stand around, we're invading!"

Xerath yelled, knowing that in this scenario was Thresh hooking some unfortunate soul into their demise by the hands of our team mates. I bought the usual doran's, 2 pots and grabbed a ward before moving out behind Evelynn. As we crossed the jungle of the Rift, we aproached the river, where most battles tend to be contested during mid game. Eve went in first because of her passive. No one inside the bush, we moved in carefuly. She moved to the bush behind the enemy's blue buff, still nobody in sight. Eve slowly crept around the corner and placed a ward on the bush next to blue and we saw Khartus and the bot lane comp waiting for gromp. They had no idea. Thresh made a move and threw his hook. Khartus was caught up as we followed up instantly, he'd either have to burn flash or give in first blood. Sadly for him, he did both. Shortly after his summoner flashed over the wall, Xerath started with his stun and caught Khartus at max range. With me, Eve and Jinx within range, we gave Jinx the first blood, which I was glad as I didn't want my poison to take his life and cause my team's summoners to argue at me.

"Good, this should make bot lane easier."

The chain warden commented at a proud Jinx.

"Yeah, was nearly tempted to shoot too early, but guess waiting paid off! Otherwise this rat would get the kill first!"

I wasn't listening, ever since Khartus' death that I noticed Tristana and Lulu running off, not wanting to give my team additional gold. I couldn't blame them, I would had done the same. In this League, it's live or be killed... Nobody would come back for a team mate... Nobody... I recalled shortly to avoid any other unwanted guests and ran back to my lane, nearly in time before the minions spawned. With bot lane giving our jungler a leash and minions clashing on all three lanes, the race for victory was on. Aatrox wasn't amuzed by what happened a minute earlier, but just like me, he didn't care, it's not what happens in the past that matters, it's how it ends... We both started farming and killing each other's minion waves, had to start poking, his sustain would be painful if not in check. As he hit level 2, he tried jumping on me but his summoner's eagerness costed him his passive and then more gold to my team.

"You have slain an enemy!"

That should buy me some time as I pushed the wave to under his tower and started recalling to purchase a couple of stuff. 2 books and a pair of boots later, we were back at it. While I was walking to my lane, I noticed that our Jinx got herself killed for over extending and Thresh managed to survive with a sliver of HP left... That sliver didn't mean nothing to Khartus as he ulted. I had to endure the pain, taking a pot and heading to Aatrox, who wanted revenge, but had to be patient. Meanwhile, mid lane was having their own rant of Shurima, the insane arcane mage who kept poking from a distance to the zealous emperor that kept defending his turret with his soldiers. It was nearly a stalemate until Evelynn showed up and claimed the kill on Azir.

"An enemy has been slain!"

Things were decent, 3 to 2 in kills, but if our botlane didn't tone up, we could still had a chance to lose... And that wasn't an option... Not if I wanted to keep myself sane... Not if I wanted to avoid...

"You have been slain!"

Crap. I got myself distracted and he picked up the kill... That was gonna cost me, but eye for an eye, I guess... Things couldn't get any...

"Enemy double kill!"

And there went botlane... Tristana was officialy fed with 3/0/1... This was gonna be a long game.

--------------------------------

Around mid game, our jungle was well shroomed, our Eve and Xerath were doing fine, but bot lane wasn't catching up, Thresh was even getting fed up with hearing Jinx's complaints as he thought that the rest of his team would be worth more of his attention and assistance... And that included me as he threw a lantern for me to catch up with the rest of our team.

"Hurry! Two of them are low, if they get back to under tower, our Eve won't be able to do anything!"

I didn't object, we needed to pick up more kills, we were winning in turrets, but behind in kills. Eventually they'd catch up with the enemy as Thresh managed to land a good hook on Lulu. Eve went in and got her kill. Tristana had no choice, but to run, just as expected from her summoner to decide. Didn't expect Eve to just follow up even further... She ended up caught by the enemy and Tristana lived with a sliver of health. The argument with the summoners in our team were deafening as we tried to recover from the 1v1 loss and focused on the team fight ahead. Tristana had to back and return, so we could take advantage of this 4 versus 3 in the meantime. Another good hook landed by thresh and it started... I have no idea how it happened, but we ended up losing 3 more to 2 of them... I ran as far as I could before the rest of the team could catch up. Khartus tried to ult to kill me, but I was smart to buy Magic resistance against it... Barely felt a thing of it this time. I had no idea how we would win this match if my team kept going nuts... Because I really can't affort to lose... Not again... I don't want to feel that pain again...

------------------------------

It was late game, our adc pretty much gave up and ran to get herself killed again... With over a minute worth of waiting time, we had no damage for this last team fight. I died not too recently and by the time I came back up, we were 3 versus 4, I got a couple of kills myself, the rest of my team died... In the end, it was up to me... And the fed Tristana... I was wounded, but I could flash, blind then burst her down... Ace them and pick up a tower or two... We really needed this since we had our nexus exposed for far too long... If I died, it was game over... I had to do this... I...

I flashed in, grabbed my knife, but she didn't shoot me, she instead dropped Riggles and held me close... She... hugged me?

"Just... Stop... Please!"

I froze, just wasted flash, had to do something... But she didn't let me... She grabbed my blowdart and made me drop it. She was crying... What was going on?

"I know all about it! Lulu told me during this match what they did to you! Why you wear that mask... Worse is that they call that a "legendary skin"... Unlike mine..."

I could see her tears forming in her eyes, even her pet Riggles was dead worried about it... If she really knew... Then she was gonna ask me to...

"Let me see it! Please!"

I didn't know what to say... She wasn't killing me... She only wanted to know the truth... It would be a lost cause anyways, so... I obliged... I pulled my helmet off, what she saw behind the helmet caused her to gasp, nearly in tears at what she saw...

"You... They..."

What used to be my happy yordle face, one that people would find me cute about... Became a mess of scars... I was lucky that she could still recognise me after what I've been through... She might be imagining the pain I was or did had when they were made... Truth be told... I didn't feel any pain anymore... I was able to mask it if any appeared...

"Please tell me that..."

"They weren't made in the Rift... But outside... Each scar... Was a loss... And the summoners would punish me with a new one... Every single one..."

She held me close again, I could hear her sobbing... She was worried sick about me and she couldn't handle the pain of seeing me suffer...

"I'm sorry that you had to endure this... I just can't..."

I couldn't handle it too, I held her back in a hug, tears forming on my eyes as well...

"You always cared about me in the end... It's fine..."

"More than that, I love you! I don't want to see them hurt you again!"

She was in panic... She had two choices... Either she'd kill him while he was distracted and killed the Nexus, causing Teemo to end in pain... Or try to surrender and hope he survives another punishment... She couldn't get to choose as a nearly blinding light started shining over Teemo. He didn't even look up, knowing what it was... And according to his latest build... Khartus bought Magic Pen because of his earlier fail to kill him... He was too low to survive that...

"Good bye, Tristana..."

"Please, don't do this to me!"

"Just finish... It's either you or my team... We're one vote away from surrendering..."

She cried again and next, the light detonated... Teemo fell limp on Tristana's arms...

"SHUTDOWN!"

She slowly left Teemo on the floor, she hated it, she hated every second of this match! She just wanted to end it all! She grabbed Riggles who was happy to follow her lead and started shooting the exposed Nexus.

"LEAVE HIM ALONE, YOU BASTARDS! YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THIS!!! HE DIDN'T DESERVE YOUR PAIN AND SUFFERING!!! JUST... LEAVE... HIM... ALONE!!!"

The last fireball hit the nexus and it started to glow, before the jewel in the middle detonated, marking the end of the match... Tristana fell on her knees as Riggles tried to cheer her up. She just looked at him, tears nearly blinding her in rage...

"This is insane... I hate this..."

The match ended, the Rift was reset and the champions were away... The 10 summoners argued amongst each other the whole time...

------------------------------

"You know what time it is, Teemo... You little bastard..."

Those words didn't hurt me anymore, not even the chair I was used to being tied up... Seemed more comfortable these days actualy...

"You know how it works... Your sorry ass deserves pain to learn how things work in the Institute!"

I saw the leader of the group walk to a table, grabbing a knife from the table. Both were bloody... In fact... I think they never clean that knife since the first time they used it on me... He started spinning it, as if expecting to impress me then moved closer to me, grabbing me by my neck, to make sure I didn't try to move away... I just stared up at him as the knife moved closer...

"Keep this up and nobody will recognize your mug anymore!"

I'm sorry Tristana... But if that were to happen, just remember that I love you too... I sighed... And closed my eyes...

One scar down... 13 more matches left for today... Which meant 13 more possible scars to be added to me...
Edited by JayHog1992, Jul 11 2016, 03:43 AM.
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BetaDude40
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A particularly tactical and affluent Void-Yordle
Well that was interesting. Usually fanfics of Teemo I read are either "he's satan lol ebery1 killd him d end" or "[CENSORED]", but this has some originality in it. We don't often get many fanfics like this inside an actual match, so that's interesting. I'll try my best to help improve it.

I feel like throughout the whole story in general, there's a lack of characterization for everyone else. Aside from Teemo and maybe Tristana, you could literally replace them with any other champion and the different would hardly be noticeable. Perhaps make them more unique than just some casual mentions and generic one-liners? I know they're not the focus of the plot, but it's very odd to me. Another trend is that you seem to spend more time telling than showing. Given, in first-person narratives, this is somewhat more acceptable; but I want to "see" what is going on rather than Teemo telling us what's happened. You open up in the later part of the story, and it reads so much nicer when you do this! Don't be afraid to put us out of Teemo's mind to show us what's going on, it lets us know what it's like inside the action.

Minor formatting complaint: The way you do quotes irks me. You put what the person said two lines above the person who said it. It's not a huge issue, it just makes me twitch internally because I'm an OCD twat. Example:

What I like: "I have 99 mushrooms and you-- GOD DAMMIT!" Teemo hollered at the scuttlecrab.

What irks me: "I'm fucking finding Ryse or Trynd or whoever the fuck made this game and I'm going to just shove their ass into a microwave and nuke them until they give the executive order to remove that fucker from the river."

Said Teemo between even more incoherent swearing and mouthfuls of meade.

Again, it's a formatting issue, but one that I guess I can live with... for now...

My most major complaint is probably the pacing and the focus. Granted, with how the story was coming out and how so much detail was put into describing the match, I actually was not expecting the sudden Tristana twist with the hug. Even with that, though, I feel like it was too fast. The first half of it could best be described as "Teemo goes into a match. Here is this match alongside some peppering of Teemo's overall discontent with... well, everything." The later half suddenly shifts at the Tristana hug to "OMG I LOVE YOU STOP LETTING THEM TORTURE YOU!!!", which I thought was very sudden as she hadn't said or done anything to even acknowledge his presence previously (other than killing him of course, which she does with 0 remorse at first). With how emotional Tristana acted to Teemo being stabbed in the fucking face (a rather morbid touch, but considering how much people hate Teemo I'm honestly not surprised), why didn't she just refuse to fight? She very clearly doesn't want Teemo to get cut up in the Death-Chair® again, and there's not any evidence that Tristana would somehow suffer the same fate if she lost (though after seeing her Dragon Trainer death animation, maybe it's honestly MUCH worse than I thought (o_o;;) ), so I'm not entirely sure. I'd love to hear more from the obviously corrupt and evil summoners, but the end scene is all we ever hear of them. Ultimately, I felt like it went so fast and only focused on the very specifics of that particular game rather than Teemo's or Tristana's actions/emotions, and it's left me with multiple questions.

Maybe I'm not good at critiquing short stories (mostly because I don't write anything short. My fanfics could probably be novels in their own right ._.), and perhaps the pacing would make sense for something of this size. Whatever the case is, it was still a pretty good read, if not a good draft. I only mean to constructively talk about this, and hopefully your writing style and the story can be improved for better stuff in the future *cough*MOREOMEGASQUADTEEMO*cough*. If you have anything else, you can add me on League (it's the same username as my forum name). I'm not terribly insane, but I do have a purple Void monster in my head that tries to torment me... So yeah.
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Crzymstrbkwrm876
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EVERY DAY IS A GOOD DAY TO TORTURE, MAIM, AND DESTROY
I could proofread a lot of edits out of this, but...I'm not really sure you want me to :/ ;~;
It was a decent story. I agree with Silencer about the originality of the plot being nice.
One question though, are you meaning to type Karthus instead of Khartus, or is Khartus the summoners name? Wasn't quite clear.
Edited by Crzymstrbkwrm876, Jul 11 2016, 10:35 PM.
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BetaDude40
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A particularly tactical and affluent Void-Yordle
Crzymstrbkwrm876
Jul 11 2016, 10:35 PM
I could proofread a lot of edits out of this, but...I'm not really sure you want me to :/ ;~;
It was a decent story. I agree with Silencer about the originality of the plot being nice.
One question though, are you meaning to type Karthus instead of Khartus, or is Khartus the summoners name? Wasn't quite clear.
Silencer?!? Dafuq you talkin about?
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JayHog1992
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[Minor formatting complaint: The way you do quotes irks me. You put what the person said two lines above the person who said it.]

Yeah, I always worked with that format, I might consider changing it as I keep writing more stories at my own pace.

[Why didn't she just refuse to fight?]

The story is made when summoners are a thing. I assume that the moment champions join the league, they pledge allegiance in mind, heart, body and soul to the summoners until they day they either seen "unworthy" or are considered "Deceased". (AKA, Being perma deleted from the actual League of Legends game), So she can try, but being in the Rift, she's forced to follow her summoner commands, failure to do so can lead to punishment, as evidenced by the fact they're holding up dangerous champions such as Nocturne, Fiddlesticks, etc... So it's assumed that non dangerous champions are not allowed to rebel against the League once inside it.

[I'd love to hear more from the obviously corrupt and evil summoners]

Then you're gonna love to know I'm making an RPG game of League based on that fundamental as well. I might do a post around these forums about the game, hoping to get help finishing it.

[Ultimately, I felt like it went so fast and only focused on the very specifics of that particular game rather than Teemo's or Tristana's actions/emotions, and it's left me with multiple questions.]

Yeah, that's my short stories for me, I have a nasty habit of leaving cliff hangers for my own amusement. I didn't actually think of making this story more deep, allowing people to think what actually happens.

[I'm not terribly insane, but I do have a purple Void monster in my head that tries to torment me... So yeah.]

I have a Shaco main trying to kill me in the NA boards, trust me, I know how stuff works around this comnunity.
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